Whoever said there’s no such thing as “bad PR” never held a press conference at the Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia.
No matter how much Republicans try to change the narrative —Hey, we thought it was time for something less formal — Trump’s chronology of tweets tells the story (source: @sissenberg).
Noah Pransky, a reporter at NBCLX in Philadelphia, recently reviewed expenses filed by the Trump campaign from Oct. 15 through Nov. 23, as well as those from the president’s two political action committees (PAC). It turned out that there were no payments made to Four Seasons Total Landscaping.
The absurdity won’t go away.
How do Rudy Giuliani and the Republican Party escape this microscope? Is there a way to turn this negative into a positive?
In fact, I’ve taken the liberty of drafting a news release that captures the storytelling Jiu Jitsu.
Republican Party Goes All-In on Four Seasons Businesses
The Republican National Committee (RNC) announced today that it will hold press conferences at a range of businesses that share “Four Seasons” as part of their name.
The Republican Party broke new ground on Nov. 7, 2020 when it conducted a press conference at Four Seasons Total Landscaping in Philadelphia to highlight claims of voter fraud. Eschewing conventional venues at posh hotels, Four Seasons Total Landscaping delivered the perfect backdrop for the working people’s party.
“Our data analytics revealed that virtually every American over 12 years of age has raked leaves at some point of in their life, making Four Seasons Total Landscaping the perfect place to test our theory that if people relate to the venue, they relate to the message,” explained Rudy Giuliani who led the initiative. “As we get more comfortable in these settings, there’s no reason we couldn’t eventually serve canapés.”
The RNC has narrowed down its choices for the next press conference to the following:
- Four Seasons Guns (Orange Texas).
- Four Seasons Plumbing And Sewer (Bridgeview, Illinois).
- Four Seasons Bowling (Hillsboro, Oregon).
“What’s more American than guns, a clogged toilet and bowling?” added President Trump.
I learned that Jared Kushner has vetted 50 companies across the U.S. to secure a robust pool of candidates for press conference throughout 2021.
Tapping my D.C. Rolodex, I managed to get my hands on the list. Kudos to the crack research from one of our interns, Josh Madrid.
1. Four Seasons Fresh Transport (Los Angeles, Calif.), Truck delivery
2. Four Seasons Restoration (Fullerton, Calif.), Construction contractors
3. Four Seasons Florist and Gifts (Temple, Calif.), Florist
4. Four Seasons Apparel Inc (Los Angeles, Calif.), Clothing distribution
5. Four Seasons Air (Stanton, Calif.), Air conditioning contractor
6. Four Seasons Chemical Corporation (San Jose, Calif.), Plastic fabrication
7. Four Seasons Herbs (Irvine, Calif.), Dietary supplements
8. Four Seasons Nail & Hair (San Diego, Calif.), Nail salon
9. Four Seasons Food Catering (San Diego, Calif.), Catering
10. Four Seasons Lawn Aeration (San Diego, Calif.), Lawn care
11. Four Seasons Design (San Diego, Calif.), Apparel manufacturing
12. Four Seasons Church (Las Vegas, Nevada), Christian church
13. Four Seasons Dental Spa (Las Vegas, Nevada), Dental clinic
14. Four Seasons Diner Chinatown (Las Vegas, Nevada), Diner
15. Four Seasons Cleaner (Henderson, Nevada), Dry cleaning
16. Four Seasons Towing (Elko, Nevada), Towing company
17. Four Seasons Sushi Bar and Grill * (Phoenix, Arizona), Restaurant
18. Four Seasons Therapy (Salt Lake City, Utah), Family counselor
19. Four Seasons Insurance Agency (Salt Lake City, Utah), Insurance agency
20. Four Seasons Sunrooms Windows (Salt Lake City, Utah), Sunrooms, home additions, patio cover, windows
21. Four Seasons Auto Repair and Tire Center (Vancouver, Wash.), Car service
22. Four Seasons Senior Home (Portland, Oregon), Senior care facility
23. Four Seasons Bowling Center (Hillsboro, Oregon), Bowling alley
24. Four Seasons Beauty Supply (Portland, Oregon), Self-care products
25. Four Seasons Therapeutic Massage (Seattle, Wash.), Massage studio
26. Four Seasons Apartments (Seattle, Wash.), Apartment
27. Four Seasons Community School (Austin, Texas), Preschool
28. Four Seasons Guns (Orange, Texas), Gun shop
29. Four Seasons Storage (Bastrop, Texas), Self-storage
30. Four Seasons Carpet Cleaning (Boston, Mass.), Carpet cleaners
31. Four Seasons Plumbing and Sewer (Chicago, Illinois), Handyman services
32. Four Seasons Equestrian Center (Chicago, Illinois), Equestrian center
33. Four Seasons Auto Detailing (Aurora, Colorado), Auto detailer
34. Four Seasons Sports Center (Riverton, Wyoming), Outdoor gear and vehicles
35. Four Seasons Golf Club (Landisville, Penn.), Golf course
36. Four Seasons Home Healthcare (Philadelphia, Penn.), Home health care
37. Four Seasons Tanning Salon (Butler, Penn.), Tanning salon
38. Four Seasons Exterminating (Pittsburgh, Penn.), Exterminator
39. Four Seasons Furniture (Seagrove, N. Carolina), Custom furniture
40. Four Seasons Too (Hernando, Miss.), Garden center
41. 4 Seasons Lashes (Cypress, Calif.), Lash extensions
42. Four Seasons Sotheby’s International Realty (Rutland, Vermont), Realtor company
43. Four Seasons Trophies (Dickinson, N. Dakota), Trophy shop
44. Four Seasons Car Wash (Alexandria, Minn.), Car wash
45. Four Seasons Co-Op (Britton, S. Dakota), Home supplies
46. Four Seasons Photography (Coeur d’Alene, Idaho), Photography studio
47. Four Seasons Arena (Great Falls, Montana), Events arena
48. Four Seasons Graphics (Zanesville, Ohio), Signs and embroidery
49. Four Seasons Pizza (Willards, Maryland), Restaurant
50. Four Seasons Beer Cigar & Tobacco (Ocean Springs, Miss.), Convenience store